January 31, 2007

Breaking News: Both Teams Happy To Be In Superbowl

More Dave Barry on the Superbowl in Miami... this time he has fun with Media Day.

GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!

January 30, 2007

Chicagoans, be careful down in Miami

Watch out for those sneaky Floridians! Mr. Barry is a funny man but he's up to no good! And for Christ's sake, keep clear of David Caruso!

GO BEARS!!!

January 29, 2007

And So It Goes

I realize that the blog has not taken a serious tone for quite a while now, and it also hasn't been very responsible about giving updates about my life in the big city. But we have had some fun here recently, and it's been swell. If I may, I'd like to update everyone on what's been shakin' in Loriland (that's right, I'm a Baroness of Sealand and I've named my portion of the island Loriland, you may now kiss my ring).

The job has been going really well. Work has picked up again so I'm keeping busy and proving my worth. I'm so much happier having a lot to do and meeting with clients. I'm also amazed at how much quicker I am modeling furniture when under pressure to get it done. On a personal note, I've also gotten to know many of my co-workers much better since the Christmas party. Perhaps this is because we are all awesome; perhaps its because we have mutual blackmail material.... whichever it is doesn't matter, I think we're all happy to call each other "friend." If you are one of said co-worker friends reading this... oh yeah, I have ALL the pictures at home, so you be nice.

My ankle is pretty well healed and I'll be joining the gym this week to start running again. I'm so very excited to get everything back where it should be and stop worrying so much about what I eat. Not that that worry stopped me from eating everything in sight during the holidays. Willpower doesn't exist during the holidays.

With no other happy-sappy news to offer I should get to the big item. This past weekend Greg moved to Denver for a new job. Some of you knew this was happening, most of you didn't. It was truly unexpected and unfortunate timing that this opportunity came about just after my move to New York, but sometimes we aren't dealt the right cards at the right time.

And now, the answers to your burning questions:
  1. Yes, I am okay.
  2. No, I don't want to talk about it. We've been living with the heartache of this situation for months and now that its final I just want to start healing. I know many of you would be willing to listen and some of you already have been, and for that I love and appreciate you more than I could ever say.
  3. I wrote about it on my blog for a reason, see #2. Information dissemination without having to rehash it a hundred times.
  4. I don't think I'll have to move. We chose an apartment that it would be possible for me to afford if he left, so with a little scrimping and money management I think I'll be able to stay.
To clear up any confusion before it begins: Greg is not the bad guy. Dealing with this situation has been difficult in the past few months, and we've both been hurt, angry and confused. But there is no blame here. He has chosen to take a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity that happens to be in Denver, and I've chosen to stay here in NY with the job I love in the city where I really fit in. Greg did not leave because he didn't love me, and I didn't stay because I didn't love him. Right now our lives are taking different paths, but those paths are not running parallel, so continuing with our relationship would be futile at this point. However, we left things as well as could be expected for a bad situation, and look forward to in time becoming the close friends we were from the instant we met.

That's the scoop. Some good along with some bad. That's usually how life goes.

January 26, 2007

It's not cold enough to snow

Watching news teasers during prime-time tv last night had me worried. I was being warned that today would be the coldest day New York had seen since 2005 and that my morning commute would be harrowing, and that I should stay tuned the the Channel Whatever news to find out just how scared I should be. Yikes!

Since I don't like to wait around for the news I went to trusty weather.com to find out how many pairs of legwarmers I would have to wear to stay warm today. I learned that the low was going to be in the teens with a high in the low 20s. But everyone was all about the wind chill. "WIND CHILL IN THE SINGLE DIGITS!! WEAR A HAT! WEAR A SCARF! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GLOVES!!" Okay, okay, let's all settle down now. I think everyone knows that you should wear a hat, scarf and gloves in the winter. And though I will admit that 20 degrees is cold, and that a windchill of five degrees is colder, I don't think its really that bad.

But I'm from Chicago. I love snow. I would rather be cold than hot. I think Florida and Arizona are evil and should secede (sidenote to FL and AZ; take Texas with you, they've never wanted to be here anyway). It's fairly normal for Chicago to have temps in the 20s and below at this time of year. I can remember more than a few winters when the temperatures were in the single digits, and I can't even speak of the wind chill... especially on the bridges over the river. I don't really start to worry until Lake Michigan begins to freeze, cause then you are talking some really extended cold.

But tonight the tempuratures are on the rise, and tomorow the two-day cold spell will be over... Nowhere close to being too cold to snow. People can complain about the cold when they have to blink constantly lest their eyeballs freeze. That's when its too cold to snow.

January 16, 2007

People in Park Slope are CRAZY!

Greg and I happened upon this sign in Park Slope on our way home from dinner on Sunday. It's located in the front window of someone's apartment. It struck me as funny. Not because the statement is actually funny, but that someone inside that apartment thought it was so funny he couldn't help but share with the world... in bright green.

Maybe he's just trying to see how many blogs his sign can make it on. Well, if that's the case, he can add another tick mark to his padded wall.

January 11, 2007

It's "Baroness Muszynski" you insolent cretin!

Every once in a while you run across something on the internet that you just can't believe is out there. Sometimes its real; sometimes its just an elaborate joke. But you usually can tell which. Today, I've run into something that is clearly real (as Fox News reported on it), but my mind can't grasp the idea that it's not an insanely elaborate joke.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the "island" Principality of Sealand.

As you peruse the website make sure to pay close attention to the many mentions of the nation's population, industry, and economy. They write about it as if more than one family lives there and more than one company is located there. However, my absolute favorite part of the site is the Sealand Shopping Mall where you can purchase your very own bolt damaged in the great fire of 2006. But I almost fell out of my chair when I read about how to purchase my very own sovereign title. That's right, you can be come a Lord, Lady, Baron or Baroness of Sealand for the low low price of just 19.99 Pounds (apparently titles are on sale right now from 29.99 Pounds). Need convincing? Just read a little further:

"It's time to upgrade your social status, and demand the subservience of lesser mortals! Get your title now and watch your life change overnight!

Use it to:

  • Get V.I.P. treatment and go to the front of the queue at important events
  • Impress people and make friends
  • Get invited to all important parties
  • Secure the best table in restaurants
  • Make co-workers jealous
  • Get upgrades on flights"
I promise as you read into this you won't be able to stop. It's like an internet train wreck. You know you should be focusing your energies on other things, but you just can't pull yourself away. Oh Sealand, how you've mesmerized me!

And lucky day, its for
sale! Asking price of $977M... but they seem to be willing to go as low as $126M (and I thought New York real estate was overpriced).

January 08, 2007

Holy El Nino Batman!

It's been pretty warm around these parts lately. On Saturday in New York the temperature reached 72 degrees. 72! I haven't even needed a pair of NY standard-issue wellies yet for all this slush I keep hearing about. Which is a good thing, because the only appropriately attractive pair I have found is back-ordered for a month. What is it with these wellies anyway? It's like there is an unspoken contest between designers to put the most ridiculous pattern as possible on an already poorly shaped, purely functional shoe. And seriously, if any of you reading this are over the age of 8 and own a pair of wellies with frog or ladybug eyes sticking up you are fired. Stop reading and immediately throw them out. No, don't give them to charity. Homeless adults won't even take wellies with frog eyes on them. Maybe if you contact Rick Moranis he'll be able to tell you how to shrink the wellies with his "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" laser thing you can then give them to some deserving 6 year-old. And she'll be happy to have them. And you'll have done a good thing. But you'll never be able to live down the shame of buying them in the first place.

I really didn't mean to get off on a rant there, but that can happen when you feel passionately about something. Clearly, I feel passionately that wellies are ugly. It occurs to me that I might need to reconsider the things I feel passionately about. Perhaps I should take aim at politics instead... Nah, Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert have us covered there.

So I actually just wanted to comment on how lovely the weather has been this far into winter. I expect some kind of blizzard smack-down when it eventually does get cold enough to snow, but until then, I shall enjoy the warmth.

January 03, 2007