Name that Fridge!

Today for my dear blog readers, a game of trivia. Name that Fridge!


Where is this fridge located?

• A frat house
• My office
• A Lincoln Park apartment
  

If you guessed "A frat house" you would be wrong. Frat houses have much more beer and much less Coke. If you guessed "A Lincoln Park apartment" you would be really close, but no cigar. It is, indeed, to be found in "My office." This is what I saw this morning as I opened the door to get some milk for my coffee. I finally found it, one carton, all the way in the back. You can see it with its little red cap sticking up. A dull beacon of health lost in a sea of bad carbs and alcohol. Typical Friday morning at the office.

Digg it

Meet Kristen. "Blog, Kristen." "Kristen, Blog."

Kristen and I have been friends for a long time. We met when we were "young and stupid." To be exact, she was just out of college, and I was halfway through.

We have a lot in common and a lot not in common. Luckily they line up in the right ways so we compliment each other very well.

In case you're having trouble telling us apart; she's tall and straight and blond, and I'm short and curvy and brunette. She can run much much faster than I can, but I can duck under things, so both of us have valid escape options from creepy guys.

The picture above was taken this past weekend, when I was back in Chicago. The purpose for my trip was to shop with my mom for her wedding dress/shoes/accessories/etc. We found them all, she's going to look amazing, but I can't leak the details to ensure Homer stays in the dark about it all until that day. I did a have a wonderful time with my mom, as we always do, but this story is about my time with Kristen.

We went out on Saturday night to one of my favorite restaurants that she was dying to try, Coast Sushi. It was awesome, as always. A bottle of wine and three maki rolls later we blew that joint and headed to another of my favorites, and one of hers too, Hot Chocolate. The desserts there are amazing, even more so are the chocolate martinis. So amazing we each had two. Are you keeping track? That's a half bottle of wine and two martinis each.

Yeah, we had fun. We made up t-shirt ideas. You know you are wasted when you're making up t-shirt slogans.

Now Kristen and I always have fun when we get together, we've just usually only had the time to see each other over iced tea at lunch. Over the years she's done her thing and I've done mine as we tried to figure out who we are and where we're going in life. There have been times when we haven't seen each other for a year, but we made sure to check in occasionally. Whenever we did get together we always started off right where we ended the last time. No weirdness, no hurt feelings, no "where the hell have you been you big jerk?"

Lately our friendship has been experiencing a bit of a renaissance, despite my move to New York. We've both been going through some pretty big life changes recently, and though no two situations are the same, the way we are feeling and the things we are learning about ourselves have been. Even though we still don't talk all the time, we've been able to support each other by feeling safe enough to say the things that may be hard to tell everyone else. It's actually quite a profound thing happening in a very quiet way between the two of us. (I just said that to use 'quite' and 'quiet' in the same sentence to see if I could confuse anyone. Not really. Well, a little bit.)

Sometimes I wish we had been having this kind of friendship consistently for the past 10 years, I'm sure she feels that way too. But then I remember that just because our relationship is different now doesn't mean it was bad before. It was just, different. It was who we were and what was important to us then. We weren't selfish, or too busy, or anything like that. There was never a day when I doubted that she was a great friend and would be there if I needed her. I hope she felt the same way. And I really don't feel like we wasted any valuable friendship time. Ten years is a long time, but its nothing compared to the time we have going forward.

One day Kristen and I will both be "older and wiser." Until then we're going to have a great time getting there... drinking chocolate martinis and ice tea all the way. A little heavier on the chocolate martinis. The world needs more inspired t-shirt slogans.

Stupid snow

So I was supposed to be in Chicago this weekend; helping my mother shop for her wedding dress, hanging out with friends for St. Patrick's Day, and having brunch with two of my aunts. But I was in New York. This big ass storm hit the city for Friday, and only Friday. I was flying JetBlue, and because of their recent bad publicity they hastily went ahead and cancelled all the flights out of the airport. At first I was just cursing JetBlue specifically, but then JFK closed later that day so I had to remove some of the blame to split it with the airport itself. Even though I was pissed and disappointed that my flight was cancelled, JetBlue was good about changing my flight. They wouldn't rebook me on the first flight out Saturday morning because the storm was supposed to continue, so they re-booked for the exact same flights for next weekend. Of course when I woke up Saturday morning the snow had already begun to melt, the sun was shining and the flights did take off. But there was no way to know that was going to be the case.

It certainly was a big storm, but O'Hare wouldn't have closed. O'Hare knows how to handle the snow. The rest of Chicago does too. New York has some real problems with snow management. There are clearly not enough plows, salt, sand and people to get it off the streets and sidewalks in any way. Eventually they get the main streets plowed, but then the snow just builds up on the corners and you end up stepping in massive puddles of slush, ice and freezing water. And the subway steps are the worst. The entrances, even at the most crowded stations, have snow covered stairs. I'm just waiting to see someone absolutely bail, crash down the stairs and take 10 people with them because of this. It's really not safe.

When my friend Megan told me that I would need to get wellies for living in New York I wasn't so sure. Now I am. You have no idea what kind of puddle you are stepping in or how deep it will be, and the only way to be sure your feet will stay dry is with ugly solid rubber "boots" that go up to your knees.

Speaking of Megan, here she is, with me at some bar on the Upper East Side on St. Patrick's Day. Since I didn't make it to Chicago she invited me out with her boyfriend and some of his friends. I got a pretty late start on the festivities, but it was a good time. I always have a good time with Megan, she's swell.

The bagpipe players below were part of our entertainment at the bar. On my way there I was sitting near a guy on the subway wearing a kilt. He was an attractive, very normal looking guy... except that he was wearing a kilt. I was dying to ask him if his legs were cold, but I didn't. I figured he already knows everyone is looking at him, he doesn't need me asking him about it. And I'm not a big fan of talking to strangers. My parents told me not to do that, and clearly it stuck.

Wicker Park is swell, and so is my mom

Attention Chicago, you have a swell new store. It's in Wicker Park, and it's called The Boring Store. It sells various "spy gear" products and the proceeds go to fund new programs for an after-school tutoring and writing program called 826CHI. The products all have creative and funny explanations on the outside of the boxes, meant to amuse adult visitors and inspire writing in the workshop behind the storefront. See, swell.

I'll be back in town next weekend to marathon shop for my mother's wedding dress, but hopefully I'll have a few minutes to pop by and check the place out.

Oh yeah, my mom is engaged. Sorry to gloss right over that really big news. I seem to have forgotten to write about it because I was banned from doing so until she was able to get the word out to everyone herself. It took a while, and then I forgot. Whoops.

So the story goes... before breakfast on the morning of Superbowl Sunday, a day that was painfully disappointing to the rest of Chicago, Homer poked Cathy on the shoulder and asked "Wanna get married?" She replied, "Sure." His next question was, "Do you want an engagement ring?" Ladies, we all know what her answer was.

Within two weeks they nailed down the date of May 27th (yes, this year), picked a ring and a photographer and off she went to Australia to pet kangaroos. While she was down under Homer booked a church, looked into a bunch of reception options and picked up her shiny new ring. This has nearly redeemed him for asking her to marry him without a ring in the first place. I haven't decided yet what will fully redeem him, but treating my mom like a queen for the rest of her life is a solid place to start.

Here's a picture of the happy couple on her birthday in November:


When I was of a younger dating age my mom used to have fun threatening my boyfriends with a shotgun. She didn't have one, but was convincing even without it. Homer, I don't have a shotgun, but I do know taekwondo. I'm just sayin'.

Whole wheat doughnuts - Awful or Awesome?

Nobody out there is going to argue that doughnuts are good for us. They absolutely shouldn't be eaten on a regular basis. But when I do occasionally want to treat myself to a sugary, fatty, doughy circle of goodness I certainly won't turn to a doughnut made with whole wheat. Krispy Kreme, what are you doing? The low-carb dieters are gone. You can't get them back. They don't want what you are selling. And any of them who are stupid enough to believe that your whole wheat doughnuts are healthy might also just be crazy enough to sue when they binge on the "healthy" doughnuts and end up with heart disease. "But Krispy Kreme marketing said they were healthy! It's not my fault I gained 50 pounds!" You've been warned.

New photo album

Like the title says, I've added a new photo album to the blog album family. As I'm out and about in New York I like to take pictures of stuff that is weird, pretty, or whatever. So it's basically a dump of New York photos. I'll update it as I see cool stuff. I expect I'll be adding a lot more as the weather turns more agreeable and I'm actually able to walk around taking pics. Check it out if it tickles your fancy. Or even if it tickles something else.

I REALLY heart NY

Today I bring to you a perfect example of why I truly do heart NY.

As everyone knows, it is Valentine's Day, the most romantic day of the year (blech). Men everywhere are expected to buy chocolates and flowers and make reservations at the perfect candlelit restaurant. It's all about the romance. So how does the City of New York mark the day? By releasing their very own New York branded condoms. I love that on this day the city says, "Forget romance and get it on."

The city has been giving out free condoms for years, but recently there has been talk of how to brand them so they are unmistakably New York. I was talking with Jerry and Jenna over the weekend about how we would like to see them packaged. I think our favorite was to use various skyscrapers. We figured they would run out of the Empire State Building ones in no time flat. The city went with the "subway" look. I hope people don't take this as a location suggestion.

"There's always next year..."

As my sister pointed out after the Superbowl (aka: Big Disappointment) last night, "There's always next year." This isn't an unfamiliar phrase spoken around Chicago in reference to our sports teams. Hell, the Cubs wouldn't have any fans at all if every single one of them didn't believe this statement wholeheartedly each year. Of course the beer doesn't hurt. Now that I think about it, its probably equal parts; "There's always next year" and beer.

This principle really applies to all our sport teams. The Bears have sucked for the better part of twenty years. The Cubs for more than fifty. It took the White Sox over eighty years to get past their own bad karma from 1919. I seem to remember the Blackhawks being something to watch when I was in college, but I was easily impressed by hockey in college. Our saving grace was the Bulls. Ahhhh, the Bulls. Wasn't it a wonderful time to live in Chicago when we had Michael Jordan and the twice three-peating Bulls? Our riotous gunfight celebrations were bigger and better than any other city!

The point is this, with the exception of a few shining spots of our sports history, we've not had the best record. But Chicago sticks by its crappy teams. We love them. Sure, we may blame a few players for losing the Superbowl for a little while, but all will be forgiven in time. We can bust out the giant lion helmets next year. The Sears Tower isn't going to throw away its blue and orange lights.

So I join my fellow Chicagoans in saying to the Bears, "There's alway next year!" But keep the beer flowing, just in case.

Is it Christmas? No, Chicago is in the Superbowl!

The day has finally arrived. After so many years the Bears are back in the Superbowl. And they're playing a herd of horses. No problem. Even though sports experts are picking the Colts to win by 7 points, Chicago stands behind their team. We know the Bears have it in them, and if we could make it this far, we can make it all the way.

To see some pictures around Chicago before the big game check out this flickr set. Only in Chicago would the entire town be decked out with orange and blue lights, football helmets on landmarks and works of public art, and massive office light coordination. We doubt Indy has the same team spirit... or any tall buildings to display it on for that matter. I've never been to Indy myself, but I picture the Chicago suburb of Naperville growing out of the middle of a cornfield.

Admittedly, I don't know much about football. I can follow the game, but I hardly know any players and the only concept I have a solid grasp on is creating a hole and running through it. Oh, and that there is usually a flag on the play. Despite my pigskin ignorance, I have strong memories of Bears football. You see, my dad loved football. He played in high school. He watched the Bears every single Sunday, usually with one of my uncles. While I was off somewhere else in the house I would hear them screaming at Ditka for four straight hours, as if Da Coach could hear them (as an adult I now realize this behavior applies to ALL male football fans, not just my family). And even though I was only eight years old I can remember the Bears 85-86 Superbowl season surprisingly well. I remember watching the games and I knew all the players. But those were amazing guys and an amazing team, they were players you could really look up to. They did the Superbowl Shuffle. My cousins and I had that thing memorized and would perform it for our family. It must have been absolutely hilarious to watch us doing that. A little preview for when we would perform to the New Kids on the Block in the 90s.

So even though I don't know much about the game, growing up in a football house and being from Chicago I know a lot about city and team pride. So even though I call New York home at the moment, I would put my money on the Bears to win in an instant... if I had any to bet. Before the big game tonight I give one more shout out to my home town forever, my home team forever...

GO CHICAGO!!!!!!!! GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breaking News: Both Teams Happy To Be In Superbowl

More Dave Barry on the Superbowl in Miami... this time he has fun with Media Day.

GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!

Chicagoans, be careful down in Miami

Watch out for those sneaky Floridians! Mr. Barry is a funny man but he's up to no good! And for Christ's sake, keep clear of David Caruso!

GO BEARS!!!

And So It Goes

I realize that the blog has not taken a serious tone for quite a while now, and it also hasn't been very responsible about giving updates about my life in the big city. But we have had some fun here recently, and it's been swell. If I may, I'd like to update everyone on what's been shakin' in Loriland (that's right, I'm a Baroness of Sealand and I've named my portion of the island Loriland, you may now kiss my ring).

The job has been going really well. Work has picked up again so I'm keeping busy and proving my worth. I'm so much happier having a lot to do and meeting with clients. I'm also amazed at how much quicker I am modeling furniture when under pressure to get it done. On a personal note, I've also gotten to know many of my co-workers much better since the Christmas party. Perhaps this is because we are all awesome; perhaps its because we have mutual blackmail material.... whichever it is doesn't matter, I think we're all happy to call each other "friend." If you are one of said co-worker friends reading this... oh yeah, I have ALL the pictures at home, so you be nice.

My ankle is pretty well healed and I'll be joining the gym this week to start running again. I'm so very excited to get everything back where it should be and stop worrying so much about what I eat. Not that that worry stopped me from eating everything in sight during the holidays. Willpower doesn't exist during the holidays.

With no other happy-sappy news to offer I should get to the big item. This past weekend Greg moved to Denver for a new job. Some of you knew this was happening, most of you didn't. It was truly unexpected and unfortunate timing that this opportunity came about just after my move to New York, but sometimes we aren't dealt the right cards at the right time.

And now, the answers to your burning questions:

1. Yes, I am okay.
   
2. No, I don't want to talk about it. We've been living with the heartache of this situation for months and now that its final I just want to start healing. I know many of you would be willing to listen and some of you already have been, and for that I love and appreciate you more than I could ever say.
   
3. I wrote about it on my blog for a reason, see #2. Information dissemination without having to rehash it a hundred times.
   
4. I don't think I'll have to move. We chose an apartment that it would be possible for me to afford if he left, so with a little scrimping and money management I think I'll be able to stay.
   

To clear up any confusion before it begins: Greg is not the bad guy. Dealing with this situation has been difficult in the past few months, and we've both been hurt, angry and confused. But there is no blame here. He has chosen to take a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity that happens to be in Denver, and I've chosen to stay here in NY with the job I love in the city where I really fit in. Greg did not leave because he didn't love me, and I didn't stay because I didn't love him. Right now our lives are taking different paths, but those paths are not running parallel, so continuing with our relationship would be futile at this point. However, we left things as well as could be expected for a bad situation, and look forward to in time becoming the close friends we were from the instant we met.

That's the scoop. Some good along with some bad. That's usually how life goes.

It's not cold enough to snow

Watching news teasers during prime-time tv last night had me worried. I was being warned that today would be the coldest day New York had seen since 2005 and that my morning commute would be harrowing, and that I should stay tuned the the Channel Whatever news to find out just how scared I should be. Yikes!

Since I don't like to wait around for the news I went to trusty weather.com to find out how many pairs of legwarmers I would have to wear to stay warm today. I learned that the low was going to be in the teens with a high in the low 20s. But everyone was all about the wind chill. "WIND CHILL IN THE SINGLE DIGITS!! WEAR A HAT! WEAR A SCARF! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GLOVES!!" Okay, okay, let's all settle down now. I think everyone knows that you should wear a hat, scarf and gloves in the winter. And though I will admit that 20 degrees is cold, and that a windchill of five degrees is colder, I don't think its really that bad.

But I'm from Chicago. I love snow. I would rather be cold than hot. I think Florida and Arizona are evil and should secede (sidenote to FL and AZ; take Texas with you, they've never wanted to be here anyway). It's fairly normal for Chicago to have temps in the 20s and below at this time of year. I can remember more than a few winters when the temperatures were in the single digits, and I can't even speak of the wind chill... especially on the bridges over the river. I don't really start to worry until Lake Michigan begins to freeze, cause then you are talking some really extended cold.

But tonight the tempuratures are on the rise, and tomorow the two-day cold spell will be over... Nowhere close to being too cold to snow. People can complain about the cold when they have to blink constantly lest their eyeballs freeze. That's when its too cold to snow.

People in Park Slope are CRAZY!

Greg and I happened upon this sign in Park Slope on our way home from dinner on Sunday. It's located in the front window of someone's apartment. It struck me as funny. Not because the statement is actually funny, but that someone inside that apartment thought it was so funny he couldn't help but share with the world... in bright green.

Maybe he's just trying to see how many blogs his sign can make it on. Well, if that's the case, he can add another tick mark to his padded wall.

It's "Baroness Muszynski" you insolent cretin!

Every once in a while you run across something on the internet that you just can't believe is out there. Sometimes its real; sometimes its just an elaborate joke. But you usually can tell which. Today, I've run into something that is clearly real (as Fox News reported on it), but my mind can't grasp the idea that it's not an insanely elaborate joke.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the "island" Principality of Sealand.

As you peruse the website make sure to pay close attention to the many mentions of the nation's population, industry, and economy. They write about it as if more than one family lives there and more than one company is located there. However, my absolute favorite part of the site is the Sealand Shopping Mall where you can purchase your very own bolt damaged in the great fire of 2006. But I almost fell out of my chair when I read about how to purchase my very own sovereign title. That's right, you can be come a Lord, Lady, Baron or Baroness of Sealand for the low low price of just 19.99 Pounds (apparently titles are on sale right now from 29.99 Pounds). Need convincing? Just read a little further:

"It's time to upgrade your social status, and demand the subservience of lesser mortals! Get your title now and watch your life change overnight!

Use it to:

• Get V.I.P. treatment and go to the front of the queue at important events
• Impress people and make friends
• Get invited to all important parties
• Secure the best table in restaurants
• Make co-workers jealous
• Get upgrades on flights"

I promise as you read into this you won't be able to stop. It's like an internet train wreck. You know you should be focusing your energies on other things, but you just can't pull yourself away. Oh Sealand, how you've mesmerized me!

And lucky day, its for sale! Asking price of $977M... but they seem to be willing to go as low as $126M (and I thought New York real estate was overpriced).

Holy El Nino Batman!

It's been pretty warm around these parts lately. On Saturday in New York the temperature reached 72 degrees. 72! I haven't even needed a pair of NY standard-issue wellies yet for all this slush I keep hearing about. Which is a good thing, because the only appropriately attractive pair I have found is back-ordered for a month. What is it with these wellies anyway? It's like there is an unspoken contest between designers to put the most ridiculous pattern as possible on an already poorly shaped, purely functional shoe. And seriously, if any of you reading this are over the age of 8 and own a pair of wellies with frog or ladybug eyes sticking up you are fired. Stop reading and immediately throw them out. No, don't give them to charity. Homeless adults won't even take wellies with frog eyes on them. Maybe if you contact Rick Moranis he'll be able to tell you how to shrink the wellies with his "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" laser thing you can then give them to some deserving 6 year-old. And she'll be happy to have them. And you'll have done a good thing. But you'll never be able to live down the shame of buying them in the first place.

I really didn't mean to get off on a rant there, but that can happen when you feel passionately about something. Clearly, I feel passionately that wellies are ugly. It occurs to me that I might need to reconsider the things I feel passionately about. Perhaps I should take aim at politics instead... Nah, Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert have us covered there.

So I actually just wanted to comment on how lovely the weather has been this far into winter. I expect some kind of blizzard smack-down when it eventually does get cold enough to snow, but until then, I shall enjoy the warmth.

Brutally honest cards - Awful or Awesome?

Um, yeah, totally AWESOME!

Don'cha know

There's a new blog out there people. Well, there are a lot of new blogs every day, but this one is my sister's blog. Leah is getting a promotion to General Manager of the Nordstrom Cafe... in Minnesota. She refers to it as her exile to the frozen tundra, which I believe is pretty accurate. Seeing how awesome my blog is she's decided to do the same, and chronicle her move to the great north. Let's just hope she doesn't get frostbite on her fingers and can continue to type!

Check out her aptly named new blog, Ya Hey Der, at http://YaHeyDer.blogspot.com/. I've placed a link to the right as well.

Good luck Leah!!!

Happy Festivus!

Cause photos are cool

I just found this little project by photoblogger Dalton Rooney. I don't know why, but I love these pictures taken in my new home town. The Brooklyn Detention Complex is right by my apartment. Don't worry, it's closed now.

I added a link to his photoblog to the right, it's called seriously excited!. Take a look, there's some great stuff there.