New photo album

Like the title says, I've added a new photo album to the blog album family. As I'm out and about in New York I like to take pictures of stuff that is weird, pretty, or whatever. So it's basically a dump of New York photos. I'll update it as I see cool stuff. I expect I'll be adding a lot more as the weather turns more agreeable and I'm actually able to walk around taking pics. Check it out if it tickles your fancy. Or even if it tickles something else.

I REALLY heart NY

Today I bring to you a perfect example of why I truly do heart NY.

As everyone knows, it is Valentine's Day, the most romantic day of the year (blech). Men everywhere are expected to buy chocolates and flowers and make reservations at the perfect candlelit restaurant. It's all about the romance. So how does the City of New York mark the day? By releasing their very own New York branded condoms. I love that on this day the city says, "Forget romance and get it on."

The city has been giving out free condoms for years, but recently there has been talk of how to brand them so they are unmistakably New York. I was talking with Jerry and Jenna over the weekend about how we would like to see them packaged. I think our favorite was to use various skyscrapers. We figured they would run out of the Empire State Building ones in no time flat. The city went with the "subway" look. I hope people don't take this as a location suggestion.

"There's always next year..."

As my sister pointed out after the Superbowl (aka: Big Disappointment) last night, "There's always next year." This isn't an unfamiliar phrase spoken around Chicago in reference to our sports teams. Hell, the Cubs wouldn't have any fans at all if every single one of them didn't believe this statement wholeheartedly each year. Of course the beer doesn't hurt. Now that I think about it, its probably equal parts; "There's always next year" and beer.

This principle really applies to all our sport teams. The Bears have sucked for the better part of twenty years. The Cubs for more than fifty. It took the White Sox over eighty years to get past their own bad karma from 1919. I seem to remember the Blackhawks being something to watch when I was in college, but I was easily impressed by hockey in college. Our saving grace was the Bulls. Ahhhh, the Bulls. Wasn't it a wonderful time to live in Chicago when we had Michael Jordan and the twice three-peating Bulls? Our riotous gunfight celebrations were bigger and better than any other city!

The point is this, with the exception of a few shining spots of our sports history, we've not had the best record. But Chicago sticks by its crappy teams. We love them. Sure, we may blame a few players for losing the Superbowl for a little while, but all will be forgiven in time. We can bust out the giant lion helmets next year. The Sears Tower isn't going to throw away its blue and orange lights.

So I join my fellow Chicagoans in saying to the Bears, "There's alway next year!" But keep the beer flowing, just in case.

Is it Christmas? No, Chicago is in the Superbowl!

The day has finally arrived. After so many years the Bears are back in the Superbowl. And they're playing a herd of horses. No problem. Even though sports experts are picking the Colts to win by 7 points, Chicago stands behind their team. We know the Bears have it in them, and if we could make it this far, we can make it all the way.

To see some pictures around Chicago before the big game check out this flickr set. Only in Chicago would the entire town be decked out with orange and blue lights, football helmets on landmarks and works of public art, and massive office light coordination. We doubt Indy has the same team spirit... or any tall buildings to display it on for that matter. I've never been to Indy myself, but I picture the Chicago suburb of Naperville growing out of the middle of a cornfield.

Admittedly, I don't know much about football. I can follow the game, but I hardly know any players and the only concept I have a solid grasp on is creating a hole and running through it. Oh, and that there is usually a flag on the play. Despite my pigskin ignorance, I have strong memories of Bears football. You see, my dad loved football. He played in high school. He watched the Bears every single Sunday, usually with one of my uncles. While I was off somewhere else in the house I would hear them screaming at Ditka for four straight hours, as if Da Coach could hear them (as an adult I now realize this behavior applies to ALL male football fans, not just my family). And even though I was only eight years old I can remember the Bears 85-86 Superbowl season surprisingly well. I remember watching the games and I knew all the players. But those were amazing guys and an amazing team, they were players you could really look up to. They did the Superbowl Shuffle. My cousins and I had that thing memorized and would perform it for our family. It must have been absolutely hilarious to watch us doing that. A little preview for when we would perform to the New Kids on the Block in the 90s.

So even though I don't know much about the game, growing up in a football house and being from Chicago I know a lot about city and team pride. So even though I call New York home at the moment, I would put my money on the Bears to win in an instant... if I had any to bet. Before the big game tonight I give one more shout out to my home town forever, my home team forever...

GO CHICAGO!!!!!!!! GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breaking News: Both Teams Happy To Be In Superbowl

More Dave Barry on the Superbowl in Miami... this time he has fun with Media Day.

GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!

Chicagoans, be careful down in Miami

Watch out for those sneaky Floridians! Mr. Barry is a funny man but he's up to no good! And for Christ's sake, keep clear of David Caruso!

GO BEARS!!!

And So It Goes

I realize that the blog has not taken a serious tone for quite a while now, and it also hasn't been very responsible about giving updates about my life in the big city. But we have had some fun here recently, and it's been swell. If I may, I'd like to update everyone on what's been shakin' in Loriland (that's right, I'm a Baroness of Sealand and I've named my portion of the island Loriland, you may now kiss my ring).

The job has been going really well. Work has picked up again so I'm keeping busy and proving my worth. I'm so much happier having a lot to do and meeting with clients. I'm also amazed at how much quicker I am modeling furniture when under pressure to get it done. On a personal note, I've also gotten to know many of my co-workers much better since the Christmas party. Perhaps this is because we are all awesome; perhaps its because we have mutual blackmail material.... whichever it is doesn't matter, I think we're all happy to call each other "friend." If you are one of said co-worker friends reading this... oh yeah, I have ALL the pictures at home, so you be nice.

My ankle is pretty well healed and I'll be joining the gym this week to start running again. I'm so very excited to get everything back where it should be and stop worrying so much about what I eat. Not that that worry stopped me from eating everything in sight during the holidays. Willpower doesn't exist during the holidays.

With no other happy-sappy news to offer I should get to the big item. This past weekend Greg moved to Denver for a new job. Some of you knew this was happening, most of you didn't. It was truly unexpected and unfortunate timing that this opportunity came about just after my move to New York, but sometimes we aren't dealt the right cards at the right time.

And now, the answers to your burning questions:

1. Yes, I am okay.
   
2. No, I don't want to talk about it. We've been living with the heartache of this situation for months and now that its final I just want to start healing. I know many of you would be willing to listen and some of you already have been, and for that I love and appreciate you more than I could ever say.
   
3. I wrote about it on my blog for a reason, see #2. Information dissemination without having to rehash it a hundred times.
   
4. I don't think I'll have to move. We chose an apartment that it would be possible for me to afford if he left, so with a little scrimping and money management I think I'll be able to stay.
   

To clear up any confusion before it begins: Greg is not the bad guy. Dealing with this situation has been difficult in the past few months, and we've both been hurt, angry and confused. But there is no blame here. He has chosen to take a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity that happens to be in Denver, and I've chosen to stay here in NY with the job I love in the city where I really fit in. Greg did not leave because he didn't love me, and I didn't stay because I didn't love him. Right now our lives are taking different paths, but those paths are not running parallel, so continuing with our relationship would be futile at this point. However, we left things as well as could be expected for a bad situation, and look forward to in time becoming the close friends we were from the instant we met.

That's the scoop. Some good along with some bad. That's usually how life goes.

It's not cold enough to snow

Watching news teasers during prime-time tv last night had me worried. I was being warned that today would be the coldest day New York had seen since 2005 and that my morning commute would be harrowing, and that I should stay tuned the the Channel Whatever news to find out just how scared I should be. Yikes!

Since I don't like to wait around for the news I went to trusty weather.com to find out how many pairs of legwarmers I would have to wear to stay warm today. I learned that the low was going to be in the teens with a high in the low 20s. But everyone was all about the wind chill. "WIND CHILL IN THE SINGLE DIGITS!! WEAR A HAT! WEAR A SCARF! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GLOVES!!" Okay, okay, let's all settle down now. I think everyone knows that you should wear a hat, scarf and gloves in the winter. And though I will admit that 20 degrees is cold, and that a windchill of five degrees is colder, I don't think its really that bad.

But I'm from Chicago. I love snow. I would rather be cold than hot. I think Florida and Arizona are evil and should secede (sidenote to FL and AZ; take Texas with you, they've never wanted to be here anyway). It's fairly normal for Chicago to have temps in the 20s and below at this time of year. I can remember more than a few winters when the temperatures were in the single digits, and I can't even speak of the wind chill... especially on the bridges over the river. I don't really start to worry until Lake Michigan begins to freeze, cause then you are talking some really extended cold.

But tonight the tempuratures are on the rise, and tomorow the two-day cold spell will be over... Nowhere close to being too cold to snow. People can complain about the cold when they have to blink constantly lest their eyeballs freeze. That's when its too cold to snow.

People in Park Slope are CRAZY!

Greg and I happened upon this sign in Park Slope on our way home from dinner on Sunday. It's located in the front window of someone's apartment. It struck me as funny. Not because the statement is actually funny, but that someone inside that apartment thought it was so funny he couldn't help but share with the world... in bright green.

Maybe he's just trying to see how many blogs his sign can make it on. Well, if that's the case, he can add another tick mark to his padded wall.

It's "Baroness Muszynski" you insolent cretin!

Every once in a while you run across something on the internet that you just can't believe is out there. Sometimes its real; sometimes its just an elaborate joke. But you usually can tell which. Today, I've run into something that is clearly real (as Fox News reported on it), but my mind can't grasp the idea that it's not an insanely elaborate joke.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the "island" Principality of Sealand.

As you peruse the website make sure to pay close attention to the many mentions of the nation's population, industry, and economy. They write about it as if more than one family lives there and more than one company is located there. However, my absolute favorite part of the site is the Sealand Shopping Mall where you can purchase your very own bolt damaged in the great fire of 2006. But I almost fell out of my chair when I read about how to purchase my very own sovereign title. That's right, you can be come a Lord, Lady, Baron or Baroness of Sealand for the low low price of just 19.99 Pounds (apparently titles are on sale right now from 29.99 Pounds). Need convincing? Just read a little further:

"It's time to upgrade your social status, and demand the subservience of lesser mortals! Get your title now and watch your life change overnight!

Use it to:

• Get V.I.P. treatment and go to the front of the queue at important events
• Impress people and make friends
• Get invited to all important parties
• Secure the best table in restaurants
• Make co-workers jealous
• Get upgrades on flights"

I promise as you read into this you won't be able to stop. It's like an internet train wreck. You know you should be focusing your energies on other things, but you just can't pull yourself away. Oh Sealand, how you've mesmerized me!

And lucky day, its for sale! Asking price of $977M... but they seem to be willing to go as low as $126M (and I thought New York real estate was overpriced).

Holy El Nino Batman!

It's been pretty warm around these parts lately. On Saturday in New York the temperature reached 72 degrees. 72! I haven't even needed a pair of NY standard-issue wellies yet for all this slush I keep hearing about. Which is a good thing, because the only appropriately attractive pair I have found is back-ordered for a month. What is it with these wellies anyway? It's like there is an unspoken contest between designers to put the most ridiculous pattern as possible on an already poorly shaped, purely functional shoe. And seriously, if any of you reading this are over the age of 8 and own a pair of wellies with frog or ladybug eyes sticking up you are fired. Stop reading and immediately throw them out. No, don't give them to charity. Homeless adults won't even take wellies with frog eyes on them. Maybe if you contact Rick Moranis he'll be able to tell you how to shrink the wellies with his "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" laser thing you can then give them to some deserving 6 year-old. And she'll be happy to have them. And you'll have done a good thing. But you'll never be able to live down the shame of buying them in the first place.

I really didn't mean to get off on a rant there, but that can happen when you feel passionately about something. Clearly, I feel passionately that wellies are ugly. It occurs to me that I might need to reconsider the things I feel passionately about. Perhaps I should take aim at politics instead... Nah, Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert have us covered there.

So I actually just wanted to comment on how lovely the weather has been this far into winter. I expect some kind of blizzard smack-down when it eventually does get cold enough to snow, but until then, I shall enjoy the warmth.

Brutally honest cards - Awful or Awesome?

Um, yeah, totally AWESOME!

Don'cha know

There's a new blog out there people. Well, there are a lot of new blogs every day, but this one is my sister's blog. Leah is getting a promotion to General Manager of the Nordstrom Cafe... in Minnesota. She refers to it as her exile to the frozen tundra, which I believe is pretty accurate. Seeing how awesome my blog is she's decided to do the same, and chronicle her move to the great north. Let's just hope she doesn't get frostbite on her fingers and can continue to type!

Check out her aptly named new blog, Ya Hey Der, at http://YaHeyDer.blogspot.com/. I've placed a link to the right as well.

Good luck Leah!!!

Happy Festivus!

Cause photos are cool

I just found this little project by photoblogger Dalton Rooney. I don't know why, but I love these pictures taken in my new home town. The Brooklyn Detention Complex is right by my apartment. Don't worry, it's closed now.

I added a link to his photoblog to the right, it's called seriously excited!. Take a look, there's some great stuff there.

Chocolate in a pouch - Awful or Awesome?

I feel I don't really need to ask if this is awful or awesome... I have a pretty strong feeling its unquestionably awful. But these molten chocolate Lava Bars seem to have the hook up. Everyone who's anyone knows that winning the prestigious Convenience Store News Best New Product Award will send your sales through the roof.

This image is from the website, explaining why we should all eat chocolate from a pouch.A few comments:

Point #1) When I think of chocolate in a pouch, I don't think "gourmet." I pretty much assume the experience will be akin to eating one of those awful PoweBar gel pack things. I don't care how much faster the nutrients enter your body, it's still nasty. I also didn't realize it was such a hassle to chew chocolate. Even if you are extraordinarily lazy and don't want to chew your chocolate, you have to wait, what, 30 seconds before the chocolate melts in your mouth? And isn't there something to be said for savoring a piece of chocolate? Why do we need a "CHOCOLATE RUSH?" I myself enjoy a nice piece of dark chocolate from time to time and like that it takes a while to melt. That way I eat less of it. I mean, I enjoy it for longer... before I shove more in my mouth.

Point #2) Is there really a concern about melting chocolate bar messes? Are people carrying chocolate bars in their pockets and ruining their pants? Are these bars marketed to people living in such a climate that chocolate melts the second it leaves an air conditioned environment? Are chocolate bars really seen to be non-portable to the point that some alternative must be created? I suppose I'm just in the minority of people who don't worry about chocolate messes and portability issues. I must be a freak.

Point #3) And... how is this different from chocolate syrup?

One final thought... how in the name of Zeus does a product like this become so big in California? They are supposed to be our country's food conscious. They are the redeemers. They make the rest of our big fat country look good (even if by surgical means). California, you have let us all down. Especially you LA. I expected more from you.

And the winner is....

The winner of the first Strange in the City Photo Headline Contest is: Her headline was: "Arizona Santa Claus Missing - Found on the streets of NYC organizing a Santa Labor Union." Now, I'm not sure why they were from Arizona, but I loved the idea of a Santa Labor Union. I imagine them picketing on Fifth Ave in front of Saks and it makes me laugh. Everyone else; good effort, nice try, better luck next time. More funny photos to come!

Horror of horrors

The Scene:

I'm on the subway around 6:45pm last night, a few minutes from pulling in to my station in Brooklyn. I'm standing with my back to the door, with a bag of groceries between my legs, reading a book. I see this seated woman across from me rise out of the corner of my eye. I don't know why, but I look up. She makes eye contact and asks, "Would you like to sit?"

I shake my head and say, "No thanks, I'm getting off at the next stop." I'm confused because there are a few other people standing, all of whom are closer to her than I am.

She gets up and walks over towards the doors I'm standing by. She says, "I'm getting off here too, but I just noticed you now."

I'm thinking... does she think I need to sit because I have a bag of groceries? No, that's ridiculous. Perhaps she has ESP and somehow knows that my bad ankle is bothering me inside my heeled boots? No, that's even more ridiculous. As I continue reading my book with my head down I notice my sweater. My adorable new sweater that has a little gathering at the stomach that makes it poof out a little before falling to (what I thought was) a flattering A-line cut.

And I realize with horror... this woman thinks I'm pregnant. Noticeably pregnant.

I wanted to turn to her and say "Excuse me, I appreciate your offer, but I'm not pregnant... and I'm throwing away this sweater."

But I didn't, because I know if I ever assumed someone was pregnant when they aren't I would be absolutely mortified. I don't know anyone who isn't terrified of making that mistake. So I bit my tounge with this lady standing next to me for what seemed like an hour, when in real time it was more like 30 seconds, as the train pulled into the station.

Okay, I admit, I was upset. I really love this sweater and didn't think it made me look preggers. I'd received many compliments since it's debut in my wardrobe less than 3 weeks ago, but all the complimenters know me. They are aware that I'm an unmarried child-hating void of a human who would never find herself pregnant. So they can look at just the sweater and know I'm not hiding any baby-bulge underneath. I know it's not my actual shape making me look pregnant. I may have added a few extra pounds since the ankle injury has kept me off the treadmill, but not that many. It was definitely the sweater.

But I love the sweater, and my friends love the sweater, so I'm going to keep it and continue to wear it with joy. But if someone else offers me a seat on the subway I'm sending it off to a special place to be with its elder sweater family.

But are you funnier than I am?

Everyone loves an interactive blog, right? Right. So today I bring you the very first (drum roll please) Strange in the City Photo Headline Contest. All you people out there in blogland can leave a comment with a funny headline for the photo... and I'll post the winner a week later. Seeing as I am a poor New Yorker there is no actual prize, except the overwhelming feeling of superiority over your fellow readers because you are the wittiest of them all. And since this is my blog, I deem who is the funniest.

Without further ado, the first picture:


I wish I could say that I took this picture, but it was my mom who spotted this scene on Fifth Avenue. She and her friend Lisa were visiting New York this past weekend and thought it was pretty funny because this shifty band of half-composed Santas looked like they were up to no good. My Headline:

"Ocean's Eleven Disorganized in NY; Other Five Still Stuck in Tiffany's Revolving Door"

Have at it people.

Awful or Awesome?

This is just awful enough to be completely awesome.