Get me some OJ stat!

There are no accurate words to describe the experience I had last night, but I'll give it a try.

It's a lovely Sunday afternoon when Jerry calls to invite me over that night for dinner and a movie with Jenna and a friend of his from work who we'll call Aaron (Aaron doesn't have a fancy blog pseudonym so he's actually Aaron). I'm told it is a horror movie made by a friend of Jerry's who is trying to break into the business. What the hell, how bad could it be?

It could be bad, really really bad. Atrocious even.

The premise of the movie is unimportant. But for context; it was supposed to be some kind of Blair Witch style thriller where you are watching footage of this cult take over a town in Arizona. The poor editing between "shaky camcorder" and "security camera" footage alone was enough to almost make Jenna lose her dinner. She was worried the movie would be to scary for her to watch and it turned out the scariest part for her was the camera-induced nausea.

The rest of us were feeling nauseous too, but not from the camera movement.

The plot was boring and barely existent, and basically was just a ruse to get him (the main character; played by the writer/director/friend of Jerry's) into this insane asylum to vent all his inadequacies and injustices from his childhood... which were also boring and standard. The ONLY rewarding moment was towards the end of the film some dude was helping him escape the insane asylum when he was shot with a tranquilizer dart. He makes it to the van when the guy tosses him a bottle of OJ and says, "Drink it. It's the antidote for the tranquilizer. Orange juice. The vitamin C counteracts the effects." This is when I lost it with laughter. Immediately following me Jenna lost it when they almost simultaneously ran over some orderly which utilized perhaps the worst scarecrow-looking fake-person doll ever. Between the two of us we couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes. We had had it, the movie had broken us, and the first chance we had to laugh, we took it. The boys didn't seem as amused, which really confused us. I think they were broken long before and by this point in the movie they were beyond salvation.

One thing I couldn't understand (other than why George Wendt agreed to appear in this thing for five minutes) was why Aaron showed up for this misery. Apparently Jerry had shared with him a portion of a previous film, and for some reason he came back for more. Maybe he really likes Jerry's cooking. Maybe he likes to ridicule poor film making. Maybe he wanted to see if he could make it in and out of Brooklyn alive. Whatever it was, I think he learned his lesson. We all did that night.

Jerry owes me 90 minutes of my life back.